(3) To an enormously wealthy female relative, who disapproves of the
bride and has sent a second-hand plated sugar-sifter--strike out
everything except "Gift."

(4) To anyone of whom much was expected, but who neither gave a
present nor wrote--strike out everything on the postcard.

* * * * *

"Strange Story of a Wedding in the Divorce Court."--_Daily News_.

It seems a rather unfortunate choice of _locale_.

* * * * *

Extract from an Indian begging-letter:--

"My mother is a widow, poor chap, and has a postmortem son."

* * * * *

"AMATEUR GENT., experienced, wanted, for week at Xmas. All
expenses paid." _Daily Telegraph_.

Why not have a professional one and do the thing handsomely?

* * * * *

ONCE UPON A TIME.