brought the weight of my kit nearly up to the allotted thirty-five
pounds. My indispensable cigar cabinet, camouflaged to look like
a water-bottle; my patent and absolutely essential convertible
gramophone which can be changed at a moment's notice into a tin hat;
my caviare lozenges and shampoo tabloids--I have them all. I want a
trench-coat and nothing else."

His face had fallen a little as I spoke. But it lit up again with
a sort of cunning excitement when I said "trench-coat." I wondered
why--then. Now I know. I thought that he was baffled and would say
no more, but I had forgotten the developments of trench warfare.

"This way, Sir," said the shopman.

He led me to a room which combined the architectural style of the
Crystal Palace and Waterloo Station with a touch of the dentist's
waiting-room. There was a khaki tent in the midst of it, and he led me
towards this with the air of a broody hen anticipating the number of
her chickens.

"The Vadecumomnibus trench-coat," said he.

"But it's a tent," I protested.

"It has collapsible aluminium centre seam," he retorted rapidly,
"which can be used as a tent pole in severe weather. On buttoning the
top button this pole telescopes automatically and forms a bullet-proof
spine protector. Each sleeve can be unscrewed and used in an emergency
as a Lewis gun. This is indispensable--"