church_). "IT'S VERY BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T IT?"

_Elderly gentleman_ (_naturalist, listening to the grasshoppers_).
"AND THE WONDERFUL THING IS THAT THEY DO IT BY RUBBING THEIR LEGS
TOGETHER."]

* * * * *

"Ex-P.C. and wife will take care of your residence during holidays
or other period; p.c. will receive prompt attention."--_Sheffield
Telegraph._

But what about p.c.'s wife?

* * * * *

"The bride's going-away dress was a silver cigarette
case."--_Dover Telegraph_.

We don't like this new fashion for brides. It is too suggestive of
"weeds."

* * * * *

"Ale and beer--Brew your own, 4½ gallons for 1s.; intoxicative;
no malt; legal; two trade recipes, 1s."--_Cork Examiner_.

In England we do not require to brew this "intoxicative" with "no
malt" for ourselves. Every public-house sells it.