* * * * *

[Illustration: _Teuton writes_: "I am sad at heart, dear Gretchen.
Despite my weak sight they have for some reason drafted me into the
shock troops."]

* * * * *

A Chinese butcher's reply to a complaint of short weight:--

"Butcher said he had gave to your coolie with full weight and
expecting your coolie fall down some of them on the road."

* * * * *

LESSONS OF THE WAR.

II.

(_The Ophir Gold Pantomime Syndicate issues its Preliminary
Instructions for the Production of its Annual Pantomime._)

PRELIMINARY INSTRUCTIONS.

O.G.P.S. 42/B/26.

_November 20th_, 1919.

1. _General Outline_.