will suit your soft head. As for food, I'm afraid you're not
taking enough arsenic. A slight touch of relationship to my
family has evidently turned your brain. I cannot say how
sorry I am that you should have discovered the one flaw in
my pedigree.

Yours faithfully,

FREDERICK PETHERTON.

I gave him one last little tweak under the ribs:--

DEAR OLD BOY,--Just a hurried line to say that all is forgiven
and forgotten. The family feud (there must have been one, I'm
certain) which has kept the Pethertons and the Fordyces apart
for the last couple of centuries is a thing of the past, now
that we two understand each other so thoroughly. I am only
sorry I did not discover the strawberry mark on your left arm
earlier, that I might the sooner have subscribed myself.

Your long lost HARRY.

This either disarmed him or he threw away his weapon in disgust.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _British Tar_ (_confidentially to lady friend_). "SHE'S
SUNK ALL RIGHT."]

* * * * *