about the size of a boiler, ready charged, wherewith he kills geese,
turkeys, and even lamb; which, he affirms, is a much less shocking method
of neutralizing the vital spark than the vulgar butchery of twisting and
sticking. He has lost three of his fingers, through incautiously handling
a self-acting rat-trap of his own construction; and had his left eye blown
out, while investigating the exact interval between combustion and
explosion.

* * * * *

I found a difference of about half an hour between the dial of Putney
Church and my watch, which a young gentleman "intended for one of the
universities" accounted for from difference of latitude. He likewise
explained a phenomenon, which rather startled us, near Kew. We saw about
half-a-dozen cows galloping furiously towards the river's brink; flirting
their tails, and, indeed, conducting themselves with a vivacity perfectly
inconsistent with the acknowledged sobriety of that useful animal. He
calmed our apprehensions, by informing us they were intended for the East
Indies. Every other day they are fed with best rock-salt, instead of
green-meat; which, by chemical agency, renders them fat and fit to be
killed, and sent on ship-board at a moment's notice; the trouble and delay
of salting down being totally unnecessary. These cows, he assured us, had
just finished their thirst-inducing meal.

Near Hill's boat-shed is the patent Philanthropical Hay-tosser, a
stupendous machine, invented expressly to prevent the degradation and
slavery to which thousands of our fellow men are subjected during
hay-harvest. It must gratify every friend to the amelioration of his
species to learn, that the humane intention of the inventer is likely to
be realized, as there are already three thousand Irishmen out of employ.