(No more she wears that fetching jersey);
And all in vain she pity claims:
The dagger ruthlessly he aims,
And through the whale-bone of her corset
Tries unsuccessfully to force it.
At last he feels that he's succeeded,
A little more than p'rhaps was needed.
Ah, that by taking out the knife
He now could bring her back to life!

'Twas his habit, when he got into a pet,
Invariably to light a cigarette;
And, having killed his wife, he never spoke
One word until he'd had a quiet smoke.

When he saw that it was time, he called a p'liceman,
And exclaimed, "Oh, I have broken the Tsar's peace, man.
I've killed my wife!--I did it in a fury--
But I wish the matter brought before a jury."
And the jury, after hearing all the case,
Said, "Not Guilty. We'd have done it in his place."
And he lately, in a Russian railway carriage,
Told Count TOLSTOI all the story of his marriage.

* * * * *

"The Law of Arms is such."--Mr. Punch greatly regrets that he was
unable to be present at the Annual Inspection of the Inns of Court
Volunteers, when members were requested to "show every article of
equipment and clothing of which they were in possession." No doubt