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The Bicyclers and Three Other Farces by John Kendrick Bangs
page 15 of 132 (11%)
Enter Barlow.

Barlow. Where the deuce is that Ex--

Yardsley (grasping him by the arm and pushing him out). Here it is;
this is the ex-strap, just what we wanted. (Aside to Bradley.) Go
down to the drug-store and get a bottle of Pond's, will you? [Exit.

Mrs. Perkins (walking to window). She can't be long in coming now.

Bradley. I guess I'll go out to the corner again. (Aside.) Best
bicyclers always smashing ankles, falling off, taking headers! If I
ever get hold of Emma again, I'll see whether she'll ride that--
[Rushes out.

Mrs. Perkins. It seems to have made these men crazy. I never saw
such strange behavior in all my life. (The telephone-bell rings.)
What can that be? (Goes to 'phone, which stands just outside parlor
door.) Hello! What? Yes, this is 1181--yes. Who are you? What?
Emma? Oh dear, I'm so glad! Are you alive? Where are you? What?
_Where_? _The police-station_! (Turning from telephone.) Thaddeus,
Mr. Barlow, Mr. Yardsley. (Into telephone.) Hello! What for?
What? Riding without a lamp! Arrested at Forty-second Street! Want
to be bailed out? (Drops receiver. Rushes into parlor and throws
herself on sofa.) To think of it--Emma Bradley! (Telephone-bell
rings violently again; Mrs. Perkins goes to it.) Hello! Yes. Tell
Ed what? To ask for Mrs. Willoughby Hawkins. Who's she? What,
_you_! (Drops the receiver; runs to window.) Thaddeus! Mr.
Yardsley! Mr. Barlow!--all of you come here, quick.

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