Perkins (with dignity). They make wheels. The man who owns the
company is named Czar. I refer to him as my agent, because from the
moment he learned I thought of buying a wheel he came and lived with
me. I couldn't get rid of him, and finally in self-defence I bought
this wheel. It was the only way I could get rid of him.

Bradley. Aha! That's the milk in the cocoanut. eh? Hadn't force of
mind to get rid of the agent. Couldn't say no. Humph! I wondered
why you, a man of sense, a man of dignity, a gentleman, should take
up with this--

Perkins (angrily). See here, Brad, I like you very much, but I must
say--

Mrs. Perkins (foreseeing a quarrel). Thaddeus! 'Sh! Ah, by-the-
way, Mr. Bradley, where is Emma this evening? I never knew you to be
separated before.

Bradley (sorrowfully). This is the first time, Mrs. Perkins. Fact
is, we'd intended calling on you to-night, and I dressed as you see
me. Emma was in proper garb too, but when she saw what a beautiful
night it was, she told me to go ahead, and she--By Jove! it almost
makes me weep!

Perkins. She wasn't taken ill?

Bradley. No--worse. She said: "You go down on the ' L.' I'll
bike. It's such a splendid night." Fine piece of business this! To
have a bicycle come between man and wife is a pretty hard fate, I
think--for the one who doesn't ride.