"But, Daily, is there any likelihood of peace not being signed?" asked
Mr. Maily, when the editor had gone.

"For goodness' sake, Maily, pull yourself together. Don't you
understand that one of the principles of our job is to back certs?"
said Mr. Daily.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Manager of Kinema Theatre_ (_referring to the two
turbulent members of audience who have been ejected_). "HOW DID THE
QUARREL COMMENCE?"

_Doorkeeper_. "THEY WERE FIGHTING, SIR, ABOUT WHICH OF THEM THE GIRL
IN THE PICTURE WAS WINKING AT."]

* * * * *

LINES TO A LEGIONARY.

(_MEMBERS OF THE NEW CORPS OF DOMESTIC SERVANTS ARE CALLED
LEGIONARIES_.)

Sole hope of this my household, martial maid
Whom ordered ranks and discipline austere
Have shaped (I gather) for a braver trade,
So that respect, not all unmixed with fear,
Informs my breast as I await you here,
Your title, with its stern Cæsarian touch,