to his recovery will be rewarded."--_Glasgow Herald_.

It is supposed that he has been studying the portraits of "Variety"
ladies in the illustrated papers.

* * * * *

"He must, said Mr. Thomas, urge men to recognise that, in the
present state of the country, it was imperative that soppages
should be avoided."--_Liverpool Paper_.

Excellent advice; but in the present state of the country, unless one
wears waders, extremely difficult to follow.

* * * * *

"WANTED.--A suitable match for a well-connected and refined
Suri widower of 37; healthy and of good moral character;
monthly income about 500 rupees. Possesses property. Late
wife died last week."--_Indian Paper_.

It is a sign of the truly moral character to be definitely off with
the old love before you are on with the new.

* * * * *

"The five main points in the Prime Minister's programme are:
(1) Punch the ex-Kaiser."--_Sunday Times_ (_Johannesburg_).

The other four don't matter, but we wish to take the earliest