_Person_. "GENTLE STRANGER, YOUR LIGHTEST WISH, EXPRESSED IN SUCH
COURTEOUS LANGUAGE, IS TO ME A COMMAND."

(_Ambulance call_.)]

* * * * *

"Lost, sulky inflate."--_Glasgow Citizen_.

* * * * *

CIVIL EDUCATION FOR SOLDIERS.

When the armistice was signed and the close season for Germans set in,
it occurred to the authorities that it would be a waste of labour to
continue to train some few million good men for a shooting season that
might never re-open, and the weekly programme became rather a sketchy
affair till some brain more brilliant than the rest conceived the
idea of giving a good sound education in the arts of peace to this
promising and waiting multitude. The idea was joyfully accepted, and
gradually filtered through its authorised channels, suffering some
office change or other at each stage till it finally reached one of
our ancient seats of learning. It arrived rather like the peremptory
order of a newly-gazetted and bewildered subaltern, who, having got
his platoon hopelessly tied up, falls back on the time-honoured and
usually infallible "Carry on, Sergeant."

There were some six-hundred white-hatted cadets stationed at this
spot, all thirsting (presumably) for information on gas, and Mills
bombs, and studs on the cocking-piece, and forming fours, and vertical