***

We are glad to report that the gentleman who, at the BURNS festival,
upon being asked if he would take a little haggis replied that he
wouldn't mind trying a wing, managed to escape with his life.

***

A West Hampstead architect has designed a cottage in which there will
be no bricks in the walls, no timber in the roof, no slates or tiles
and no register grates. Too late. Jerry-builders accomplished that
trick years ago.

***

While walking in Highams Park, Chingford, says a contemporary, a
postman picked up a package containing one ounce of butter. To his
eternal credit let it be said that he at once took it to the nearest
police station.

***

The best brains of the country are still exercised by the alleged need
of brightening cricket. One of our own suggestions is that the bowler
should be compelled to do three Jazz-steps and two Fox-trots before
delivering the ball.

***

A typist recently fell from a moving train on the Isle of Wight