"The very thing," I said to myself. "What more appropriate souvenir
than a bottle of the local produce?"

That was ten days ago, and this morning I received the following
letter:--.

"Thank you _so_ much for the scent; it was sweet of you, and
arrived safely, only I don't think it _quite_ so nice as the _real_
eau-de-Cologne which I buy at Brown's shop [Brown is the village
grocer] for three-and-nine a bottle. And he says they must have taken
you in properly with a German imitation called eau-de-_Köln_, and
expects you had to pay a pretty penny for it, though I hope you
didn't, poor boy."

Reader, I ask you.

* * * * *

"INFLUENZA EPIDEMIC--PUBLIC MEETING.

"In order to comply with the regulations of the Board of
Health, each person attending the meeting must occupy 25
sq. feet space."--_Australian Paper_.

"Let me have men about me that are fat."--_Julius Cæsar_.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE CHEERFUL PACHYDERM.