"Oh!" said the girl, "there's a lovely one for him. Three men on their
hands and knees licking up the whisky spilt from broken bottles."

"Good Heavens!" said the father, "you can't send him that."

"I think not," said the mother. "If you sent Uncle that, all the fat
would be in the fire."

"It's very funny," said the boy.

"Funny, yes," said the father. "But funniness can be very dangerous.
Good Heavens!" and he mopped his brow, "you gave me quite a turn."

"Very well, who shall we give it to?" the boy asked. "We mustn't waste
it."

"I don't care who has it so long as it's not your Uncle," said the
father. "And what have you got for your Aunt Tilly?"

"This one," said the girl. "An old maid looking under the bed for a
man and hoping she'll find one."

"Goodness, Maria!" said the father, "are your children mad? The idea
of sending such a thing to Tilly!"

"But she is an old maid," said the girl.

"Of course she is," said the father. "That's the mischief."

"Well, there's rather a good one where a wife is going through her