"The crew of the submarine made great efforts to refloat the
vessel, but were unsuccessful. The cavalry advanced towards
the spot and surrounded both the submarine and her crew, who
surrendered."--_Daily Paper_.

* * * * *

"Lord Lambourne, in a farewell address to his late
constituents at Waltham Abbey, said the honour which had been
conferred on him was not degraded by a farthing of his money.
Licensed victualler, of Queen's Road."--_Woodford Times_.

Are we to infer that the late Chairman of the Commons' Kitchen
Committee is now in business on his own account?

* * * * *

"One of my informants says that he was awakened by
shells passing beside his window which rushed screaming
inland."--_Daily Paper_.

This was evidently "a magic casement opening on the foam of perilous
seas." A French window would have shown more courage.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "GOOD GRACIOUS, BABY, HERE ARE SOME PEOPLE COMING! GET
BACK TO YOUR DRESSING-ROOM AT ONCE."]

* * * * *