when, as is the case with all these episodes, the original dispute
ought never to have occurred; when the questions at issue are mean,
pitiful, and sordid; when, if the people concerned were only themselves
wise, patient, and kind, the situation would never have occurred, what
then? If my acquaintance, in the first case, had not taken a mean
pleasure in tale-bearing and causing pain, if in the second case my two
relatives had not been grasping and selfish, if in the third case my
friend's widow had not allowed her own sense of affection to supersede
her judgment, if in the fourth case my friend had been content to let
his merits speak for themselves instead of relying upon personal
influences, these little crises would never have occurred; it seems
unfair that the pain and discomfort of these paltry situations should
be transferred to the shoulders of one who has no particular personal
interest in the matter. Besides, I cannot honestly trace in my own case
the beneficial results of the process. These rubs only make me resolve
that in the future I will not have anything to do with such matters at
all. It is true that I shall not keep my resolution; but that does not
mend matters appreciably.

Moreover, instead of giving me a wholesome sense of hopefulness and
confidence, it only makes me feel acutely the dreary and sordid
elements which seem inextricably intermingled with life, which might
otherwise be calm, serene, and beautiful. I do not see that any of the
people concerned are the better for any of the incidents which have
occurred--indeed, I think that they are all the worse for them. It is
not encouraging or inspiring to have the meanness and pettiness of
human nature brought before one, and to feel conscious of one's own
weakness and feebleness as well. Some sorrows and losses purge, brace,
and strengthen. Such trials as these stain, perplex, enfeeble.