Champagne is beer,
Wet days are fine, love,
When thou art near.

Without you stand quite close at hand,
A broker _is_ a broker;
But stick by me, and then he'll be
A very pleasant joker!
Without thee by, a lie's a lie--
The truth is nought but truthful.
But by me stay, and night is day--
And even _you_ are youthful
When thou art near, love,--
Not, love, unless,--
Thick soup is clear, love,
Football is chess.
IRVINGS are TOOLES, love,
Tadpoles are deer,
Wise men are fools, love,
When thou art near!

* * * * *

When KENNEDY fell out of his boat at Henley, his antagonist, PSOTTA,
magnanimously waited for him to get in again. He must be a good Psotta
chap.

* * * * *

LOST OPPORTUNITIES.--Last Tuesday week the members of the Incorporated