may have been Punch. Very often an Englishman will Get Next almost
immediately if the Explanation is put in Parenthesis. You have to Hand
it to him with a Diagram and a Map and then give him a little Time, and
then he Drops. This man is certainly an Englishman. Notice the
Expression of Disapproval. He does not fancy our Farm Scenery. Get onto
the Shoes, too. They are shaped like Muffins. Then if you are still in
Doubt, pay attention to the Accent. Didn't you hear him just now when he
was complaining to the Porter because the Sun was on the wrong side of
the Car?"

"Yes, but did you hear him use 'Cahn't' and 'Glass' both in the same
Sentence? When a Man Plays it Both Ways, it is a Sign that he was born
in Wisconsin and attended Harvard. I am convinced that he is not an
Englishman at all. He is probably an American who takes a Bahth in a
Bath-Tub."

But the First Traveler persisted that surely the Man across the aisle
was an Englishman, so they Jawed back and forth and finally made a Bet.
Then the First Traveler stepped over and begged the Stranger's Pardon
and asked him, as a personal favor, to Identify himself. Was he an
Englishman or an American?

"Really, that is a Hard Question to answer," said the Surprised
Stranger. "I confess with some Mortification that Father was an
American, but he wore Detachable Cuffs and talked about Live Stock at
the Table, so the Heirs are trying to Forget him. As nearly as we can
learn, one of my Ancestors came to this Country from Yorkshire early in
the Eighteenth Century and founded a Tannery in Massachusetts, so I feel
that I can claim an English Birthright, regardless of the intervening
Ancestors. My Claim is strengthened by the Fact that our Family has a