and tell him about the Family, and the Crops, and Collections, and the
Prospects for Duck-Shooting. Then, selecting an opportune moment, he
threw up Both Hands. He said he had almost forgotten the Vestry Meeting
at Five O'clock, and going out to Dinner at Six-Thirty. He was about to
Call Off the Vestry Meeting, the Dinner, and all other Engagements for a
Week to come, but Jim would not Listen to it. As a Compromise the Head
of the Concern said he would ask their Mr. Byrd to take charge of the
Country Customer. They could surely find some Way of putting in the
Evening. He said the Oratorio Club war going to sing at Music Hall, and
also there was a Stereopticon Lecture on India. Jim said he would prefer
the Stereopticon Show, because he loved to look at Pictures.

The Head of the Concern said that the Country Customer would be sure to
like their Mr. Byrd. Everybody liked Byrd. His Full Name was Mr. Knight
Byrd.

He pushed on a few Buttons and blew into several snaky Tubes and put the
whole Shop on the Jump to find Mr. Byrd. The latter happened to be in a
Rathskeller not far away. When he heard that there was Work to be done
in his Department he brushed away the Crumbs and Hot-Footed up to see
the Boss.

In presenting Mr. Byrd to the Country Customer the Head of the Concern
laid it on with a Shovel. He said that Jim Here was his Friend, and the
House considered it an Honor to Entertain him. The Country Customer sat
there feeling Sheepish and Unworthy but a good deal Puffed Up just the
same. Then the Head of the Firm made his Escape and the Country Customer
was in the Hands of Mr. Byrd.

Mr. Byrd was known in the Establishment as the Human Expense Account. No