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More Fables by George Ade
page 73 of 81 (90%)
and ask People if they had heard the Talk that was Going Around. Of
course it Grieved him to be compelled to Peddle such Stories, but he had
to do it in the Interests of Morality. If Folks did not have a Pious
Protector to spot Worldly Sin and then get after it with a Sharp Stick,
the Community would probably go to the Dogs in less than no time. When
he had a Disagreeable Task to Perform, such as letting a Merchant know
that his Business Partner had been seen slightly Sprung at a Picnic, he
always wished to get through with it as quickly as possible, so usually
he Ran. He did not want any one else to beat him there, because the
Other Fellow might not get it Right.

[Illustration: THE SCANDAL]

Next Door to Cyrenius Bizzy there lived a Family that needed Regulating.
Cyrenius Bizzy knew that he had been Called to do the Regulating. The
Family had too much Fun to suit Cy. The Neighbor never came over to ask
Mr. Bizzy how late they had better Sit Up, or what Young Men the Girls
ought to invite to the House. Cyrenius would have been glad to fix up a
Set of Rules, for he was a Bureau of Advice, open at all Hours. He could
tell People just how much Money they ought to Save every Week, and how
often they ought to Lick the Children, and so on. But the Family that
lived Next Door made Loud Sport of Mr. Bizzy, and had no use for his
Counsel. They played Authors right in the Front Room with the Curtains
up, and they Danced the Two-Step so that he could be sure to see it from
where he was hidden behind the Evergreen Tree, and they ran the
Ice-Cream Freezer on Sunday Morning, and sang College Songs nearly every
Evening.

It kept the He-Gossip on the Go most of the time to let the Neighborhood
know all the Details of these Debauches. It did very little Good. The
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