but only that He who alone can, may make me in
His own time what He would have me to be; and
this evening I have been thinking that the painful
feelings I suffered might be the means appointed for
freeing me from the bondage of the worldly mind,
and from those tormenting, hurrying thoughts. Oh,
be it so; whether by means utterly incomprehensible
to me, or not, be the needful work done. I trust the
comprehension is not needed; and that the simplicity
and submission which _are_ needed may be granted
me; and that still [if] my enemies be expelled, as I
hope they will be by "His own arm," (as dear J.T.
said,) their presence will not be laid to my charge.
Alas, that I am so often guilty of dallying with
them! What wonder that the wilderness is so long
and tortuous, when I reckon the molten calves, the
murmurings, the fleshly desires?

_1st Mo. 17th_, 1850. Letter to M.B.

* * * Canst thou feel any sympathy or compassion
for one who pleads guilty to the folly of a flurried
mind, "wasting its strength in strenuous idleness," and
that, too, with open eyes, seeing its own weakness and
despising it? One of the worst things such a folly includes
is that it allows no leisure to the mind; whereas,
I believe well-ordered minds, however much care may
be placed upon them, can throw this aside, when not
necessarily engaged, and repose in the true dignity of
self-command. This is, I believe, some people's natural