oh, it is not this only, which my intellectual conscience
is burdened with: when I look at the visitations
of divine grace which have been my unmerited,
unasked-for, privilege, through which I can but feel
that in days past, a standing was placed in my power
to attain, which, probably, now I shall never approach,
the question does present with an awful importance,
"How much owest thou unto thy Lord?"
Seeing we know not, nor can know, the value of an
offer of salvation, till salvation is finally lost or won;
seeing that such an offer is purchased only by the
shedding of a Saviour's blood, how incomprehensibly
heavy, yet how true, the charge, "Ye have crucified
to yourselves the son of God afresh." I know well
that of many now pardoned, for sins far deeper in
the eyes of men than any I have committed, it might
be said that _little_ is forgiven them in comparison of
the load of debt that hangs over my head; and I
have sometimes thought, that the comparison of
_debtors_ was selected by the Saviour, purposely to
show that guilt in the sight of God is chiefly incurred
by the neglect of His own spiritual gifts, not
in proportion merely to the abstract morality of man's
conduct. It is certainly what we have received
that will be required at our hands: and oh, in the
sight of the Judge of all the earth, how much do I
owe unto my Lord! This day, though I was not in
darkness about it, seems almost to have overtaken me
unawares. I was not ready for it, though I knew so
well when it would come; and, oh, for that day which