After knocking a man down with an iron bar at Shoreditch, and being
asked by the victim why he did it, the assailant again knocked him
down. Really this is carrying things too far. After all, politeness
costs nothing.

***

It appears that the Burglars' Trade Union, not to be outdone, are
about to put in a demand for shorter sentences.

***

"Single women," says a scientific journal, "live on an average ten
years longer than married women." After reading this statement, an
Irishman has issued a warning against the habit of marrying single
women.

***

Grimsby is to have a flag day for the local hospitals. It is not known
who first gave them the idea of a flag day.

***

"The only cure for the caterpillar now destroying young oaks in
Devon," says a morning paper, "is to remove the pest at once." The
idea of removing the trees does not seem to have occurred to our
contemporary.

***