had I been faithful; had I but improved the grace imparted; had I yielded
to the strivings of the Spirit, and the convictions of my conscience, I
should, I am confident of it, now have been occupying a different
position in the Church, and should at this moment have been in the
possession of more vital godliness. These are painful reflections: yet I
trust they are not without their benefits, for they lead me to humility
before God, and I hope will ever have the effect of keeping me
distrustful of self, and dependent upon God alone.

"But to go on with my narrative. After about fifteen months' residence in
London, my health began to fail, from the labor and confinement of my
situation; and at the expiration of nineteen months, I was under the
necessity of quitting the metropolis, and returning to my native county.
Here I again took up my residence with my late employer, at Y----, with
whom I remained about five months.

"I had never, during the whole of my stay in London, been free from the
conviction that it was my duty to call 'sinners to repentance;' and I
made a solemn vow, that should God again lead me to my native place, I
would at once offer myself to the Church. Now came the trial. 'Remember
your vow,' said my conscience. 'You are not well enough yet; wait till
you have got better,' answered inclination: and as there was much truth
in the answer--my friends, together with myself, for some time thinking
me in a consumption--inclination was listened to. But as I grew better,
conscience was not so easily silenced, and a mental conflict was for some
time kept up, which is more easily felt than described; and such was its
effect upon me, that I began again to sink, and to get very ill.

"Well do I remember the day on which I became decided. It was on a
Sabbath evening: I had been hearing a very faithful and powerful sermon