"I spoke to her of how great a trial it was to me to see her living in
the luxury she did, and explained to her that it was not, as she seemed
to think, because I did not wish to see brother John and sister Sally
that I was tried at their dining here every week, but it was the parade
and profusion which was displayed when they came. I spoke also of the
drawing-room, and remarked it was as much my feeling about _that_ which
had prevented my coming into the room when M.A. and others drank tea
here, as my objection to fashionable company. She said it was very hard
that she could not give her children what food she chose, or have a
room papered, without being found fault with; that, indeed, she was
weary of being continually blamed about everything she did, and she
wished she could be let alone, for she saw no sin in these things. 'I
trust,' I said, 'that I do not speak to thee, mother, in the spirit
thou art now speaking to me; nothing but my conviction that I am bound
to bear my testimony to the truth could induce me to find fault with
thee. In doing so, I am acting with eternity in view. I am acting in
reference to that awful hour when I shall stand at thy death-bed, or
thou by mine.' Interrupting me, she said if _I_ was so constantly found
fault with, I would not bear it either; for her part, she was quite
discouraged. 'Oh, mother,' said I, 'there is something in thee so
alienated from the love of Christ that thou canst not bear to be found
fault with.' 'Yes,' she said, 'you and Sally always say _I_ speak in a
wrong spirit, but both of you in a right one.' She then went on to say
how much I was changed, about slavery, for instance, for when I was
first serious I thought it was right, and never condemned it. I replied
that I acted according to the light I had. 'Well, then,' she continued,
'you are not to expect everyone to think like Quakers.' I remarked that
true believers had but one leader, who would, if they followed Him,
guide them into all truth, and teach them the same things. She again
spoke of my turning Quaker, and said it was because I was a Quaker that