stay in heaven, and know that any one was enduring endless torments in
some other place! I must leave and go to their relief. It was dreadful
that Abraham did not even try to go to poor Dives, or to send some one.
My whole soul flew into open revolt; then oh! the total depravity which
could question "the ways of God to man." I hated Milton. I despised his
devils; had a supreme contempt for the "Prince of the Power of the Air;"
did not remember a time when I was afraid of him. God was "my refuge and
my shield, in straits a present aid." If he took care of me, no one else
could hurt me; if he did not, no one else could; and to be accepted by
him was all there was or could be worth caring for; but how should I
find this acceptance with my heart full of rebellion?

One afternoon I became unable to think, but a white mist settled down
over hell. Even those contemptible devils were having their tongues
cooled with blessed drops of water. The fires grew dim, and it seemed as
if there was to be a rain of grace and mercy in that region of despair.
Then I preferred my petition, that God would write his name upon my
forehead, and give me that "new name" which should mark me as his; that
he would bring William into the fold, and do with me as he would. I
would be content to spend my whole life in any labor he should appoint,
without a sign of the approval of God or man, if, in the end, I and
mine should be found among those "who had washed their robes, and made
them white in the blood of the Lamb."

I fell asleep--slept hours--and when the sun was setting, woke in
perfect peace. My proposition had been accepted, and wonderful grace,
which had given what I had not dared to ask, assurance of present
acceptance. I should have all the work and privation for which I had
bargained--should be a thistle-digger in the vineyard; should be set to
tasks from which other laborers shrank, but in no trial could I ever be