Phases of Faith - Passages from the History of My Creed by Francis William Newman
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the Catechism and other formulas, instead of trying to find out
whether I had any actual faith in that about which I was to be called to profess faith: I was not then aware that his sole duty was to try my _knowledge_. But I already felt keenly the chasm that separated the High from the Low Church; and that it was impossible for me to sympathize with those who imagined that Forms could command the Spirit. Yet so entirely was I enslaved to one Form,--that of observing the Sunday, or, as I had learned falsely to call it, the Sabbath,--that I fell into painful and injurious conflict with a superior kinsman, by refusing to obey his orders on the Sunday. He attempted to deal with me by mere authority, not by instruction; and to yield my conscience to authority would have been to yield up all spiritual life. I erred, but I was faithful to God. When I was rather more than seventeen, I subscribed the 39 Articles at Oxford in order to be admitted to the University. Subscription was "no bondage," but pleasure; for I well knew and loved the Articles, and looked on them as a great bulwark of the truth; a bulwark, however, not by being imposed, but by the spiritual and classical beauty which to me shone in them. But it was certain to me before I went to Oxford, and manifest in my first acquaintance with it, that very few academicians could be said to believe them. Of the young men, not one in five seemed to have any religious convictions at all: the elder residents seldom or never showed sympathy with the doctrines that pervade that formula. I felt from my first day there, that the system of compulsory subscription was hollow, false, and wholly evil. Oxford is a pleasant place for making friends,--friends of all sorts |
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