seldom honored by the emperor and became powerful, some because they had
joined in his uprising and others because they committed adultery with
him. For he was anxious to have the reputation of committing adultery,
that in this respect, too, he might imitate the most lascivious women;
and he would often get caught voluntarily and in the very act. Then, for
his conduct, he would be brutally abused by his husband and would be
beaten, so that he had black eyes. His affection for this "husband" was
no light inclination, but a serious matter and a firmly fixed passion,
so much so that he did not become vexed at any such harsh treatment, but
on the contrary loved him the more for it and actually wished to appoint
him Cæsar;--he threatened his grandmother when she interfered, and
chiefly on this man's account he became at odds with the soldiers. It
was this that was destined to lead his destruction.

[Sidenote:--16--] As for Aurelius Zoticus, a native of Smyrna, whom they
also called "Cook" (from his father's trade), he incurred the
sovereign's thorough love and thorough hatred, and consequently his life
was saved. This Aurelius had a body that was beautiful all over, as if
ready for a gymnastic contest, and he surpassed everybody in the size of
his private parts. The fact was reported to the emperor by those who
were on the lookout for such features and the man was suddenly snatched
away from the games and taken to Rome, accompanied by an immense
procession, larger than Abgarus had in the reign of Severus or Tiridates
in that of Nero. He was appointed cubicularius before he had been even
seen by the emperor, [was honored by the name of his grandfather,
Avitus, was adorned with garlands as at a festival,] and entered the
palace the center of a great glare of lights. Sardanapalus, on seeing
him, rose with modesty; the newcomer addressed him, as was usual, "My
Lord Emperor, hail!" whereupon the other, bending his neck so as to
assume a ravishing feminine pose, and turning his eyes wide open upon