WE ARE RATHER SORRY FOR MASSA JOHNSON.

* * * * *

[ILLUSTRATION: _BORED CADET (IN WESTMINSTER ABBEY)._ "LET'S SHOVE OFF
NOW, MATER. HATE HANGIN' ROUND A PLACE WHERE ONE MIGHT BE BURIED SOME
DAY!"]

* * * * *

THE CHURCH AND PEACE.

The acquiescence of the Coventry Peace Celebration Committee in the
Bishop of COVENTRY'S view that the Lady GODIVA of their pageant
should be fully clothed is leading not only to many innovations in
the representations of history all over the country, but to a
recrudescence of ecclesiastical power which is affording the liveliest
satisfaction to Lord HUGH CECIL.

For already several other divines have followed suit. It is agreeable,
for example, to the very reasonable wishes of the DEAN and Chapter
of Westminster that the Westminster Peace Celebration Committee have
decided that NELL GWYNN shall either be excluded from the Whitehall
procession altogether or shall figure as a Mildmay deaconess.

Acting under the influence of a local curate, the Athelney Peace
Celebration Committee have unanimously resolved that in these hard
times, when (as the curate pointed out) food is not too plentiful, it
would be better if KING ALFRED cooked the cakes properly and they were