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The Gentleman from Everywhere by James Henry Foss
page 68 of 230 (29%)
As soon as I took command of my two hundred boys and girls in B----,
I realized how vast is the contrast between free and unrestricted
educating, and the grind of cramming according to the ironclad rule of
the public school system.

Many children are so crammed with everything that they really
know nothing. In proof of this, read these veritable specimens of
definitions, written by public school children that very year in
another school of this town.

"Stability is the taking care of a stable."

"A mosquito is the child of black and white parents."

"Monastery is the place for monsters."

"Tocsin is something to do with getting drunk."

"Expostulation is to have the smallpox."

"Cannible is two brothers who killed each other in the
Bible."

"Anatomy is the human body, which consists of three parts,
the head, the chist and the stummick. The head contains the
eyes and brains, if any; the chist contains the lungs and a
piece of the liver. The stummick is devoted to the bowels, of
which there are five, a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes w, and y."

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