poem, suggested by her spirit and the first syllable of her name:

"Old Aunt Dunk
Is a mean old skunk."

She flew into a furious rage, declared that some Unitarian must have
perpetrated this insult, and that I must find the culprit.

She never forgave me because I failed to do so, and at her urgent
solicitation the minister, after great exertion, secured a few
signatures to a petition for my discharge on the plea that I chewed
tobacco and expectorated on the floor in the presence of my class.
As I easily proved that I never chewed tobacco, and as my patrons
presented an overwhelming protest, the prayer of the petitioners was
unanimously refused by the school board.

It would have been laughable had it not been so serious and pitiful,
to see the frantic attempts of the poor in this town to keep up
appearances, and counterfeit the style of those who had grown rich by
cheating widows and orphans in bucket shops and stock gambling. The
little minnows put on all the snobbish airs of the whales who had
grown so large by devouring all the small fish in their business seas.

One pillar of the church, who was a cashier, ruined his bank by
stealing money to enable him, for a while, to live in an elegant house
and support servants, equipages, silks and diamonds galore. For a time
he was the idol of the town, while he gave costly dinners and showered
his ill-gotten gains to embellish his favorite temple, and to build a
tower upon it to look down in contempt upon all the lesser shrines.