goods counter, the Majoress still resemblin' a foreign queen.
Arrived there, she took up a hairbrush, and with a motion the
grandest I ever see in a human bein' she brought it down atop of
Hadds' head. Whacko!--Christmas, what a crack.

"'_Now_, will you let my Willie alone?' says she.

"Hadds jumped up and down and rubbed his head.

"'What ails you?' says he, near cryin'.

"'Hadds!' I remonstrated to him, 'remember you're speakin' to a
lady.'

"'Lady!' yells Hadds. 'Lady! Look at the lump on my head!'

"It was at this unfortunate minute a young feller see fit to come
into the store to buy some matches. He stopped a minute, as he
took a general view. There was the Major, apparently bleedin'
profusely, yet not carin' a great deal, seemin' more concerned in
rockin' bac'ard and forrard and sneezin'. His manner seemed to
say, 'So long as you don't interfere with the innocent pleasures of
a sneeze I don't care what breaks.' There was Hadds rubbin' his
head: there was me with my mouth open; and there was the Majoress,
leanin' over the counter and smilin' a dark, mysterious smile.

"The customer didn't know what to do.

"'Well?' says the Majoress, sharp and businesslike.