for or against. You are just in that condition. You have feared and
mistrusted me; now your fear and suspicion are leaving you, and
curiosity is balancing against indolence. I do not bid you to make an
effort to will; I leave it entirely to you to determine now whether you
will struggle against weakness or submit to it; whether you will begin
to use your sleeping will-power or else continue to accept what comes."

I rose to my feet at once.

"What is your decision?" asked the Doctor smiling--the first smile I had
ever seen on his face.

"I will be a man!" I exclaimed.

* * * * *

I became a frequent visitor at the Doctor's, and gradually learned more
and more of this remarkable man. His little daughter told me much that I
could never have guessed. She was a very serious child, perhaps of
eleven years, and not very attractive. In fact, she was ugly, but her
gravity seemed somehow to suit her so well that I could by no means
dislike down a pipe with a long stem, and began to stuff the bowl with
tobacco which I saw was very black; while he was doing so, I recognized
on the pipe the carven image of an idol.

"Yes," he said; "I see no good in changing."

I did not say anything to this speech; I did not know what he meant.

He went to his desk, took my father's letter from a drawer, and handed