AT AN AFTERNOON CALL.

"_So glad to see you at last. Now don't let me interrupt your talk
with Mrs. VEREKER_;" i.e., "If I do, I shall be let in for being
button-holed."

"_Do let me get you some tea--you must be dying for a cup_;" i.e.,
"Know _I_ am."

"_So sorry_--_I fear everything is cold. Do let me have some fresh tea
made for you_;" i.e., "He can't accept _that_ offer."

IN A NON-SMOKING CARRIAGE.

"_You don't mind my cigar, do you?_" i.e., "I know he does, but I'm
not going to waste it."

(_Reply to the above query._)

"_Oh, not at all!_" i.e., "Beastly thing! If he wasn't so confoundedly
selfish and stingy, he'd throw it away."

* * * * *

"I'M AFLOAT!"

(NEWCASTLE-ON-TYNE VERSION.)

[Illustration]