* * * * *

"WAX TO RECEIVE, AND MARBLE TO RETAIN."

[Illustration: "Whacks to Receive."]

According to an evening paper, the wedding-present of Colonel GOURAUD
to a distinguished couple took the novel and charming form of a
phonograph, recording, for all time, the musical portion of the
marriage ceremony. In all probability, this precedent will be widely
followed, and a set of waxen phonographic cylinders will be a familiar
feature in the list of presents at every wedding of any pretensions
to smartness. Still, there _may_ be cases in which those who intend
to imitate Colonel GOURAUD'S example would do well to consider first
whether the conditions are equally appropriate. For instance, young
JACK RIVENLUTE is not a bad fellow, though he may not be given to
sentiment, and VIOLA MANDOLINE is a very charming girl, if she
_is_ apt to be a trifle high-flown and exacting at times. When they
marry--(they have not even met at present, but they _will_ marry,
the year after next, unless _Mr. Punch's_ Own Second-sighted Seer
grossly deceives himself)--when they marry, VIOLA'S Uncle JOHN will
be the person to present them with the then orthodox phonograph and
appurtenances. But if he could foresee the future as distinctly as
_Mr. Punch's_ Seer has done in the following prophetic visions, he
might substitute a biscuit-box, or a fish-slice and fork, a Tantalus
spirit-case, or even a dumb-waiter, as likely, on the whole, to
inspire a more permanent gratitude.

FIRST ANNIVERSARY--SAY, IN 1893.