Sir FREDERICK COWEN, in reply to the circular, states that the closest
call he ever had was when adjudicating at a Welsh Eisteddfod. In
consequence of an unpopular award he was besieged in his hotel by
an infuriated crowd and only escaped by changing clothes with a
policeman.

Professor Quantock de Banville relates how, while obtaining local
colour for his new Choral Symphony, he was attacked by a gorilla in
Central Africa, but tamed the mighty simian by the power of his eye.

In conclusion we may note that the only disappointing answer was
received from Signor Crinuto, the famous pianist, who replied, "I have
never had a close shave, and never intend to have one."

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE WEEK-END AND THE EXHAUSTED MIDDLE.

TIME--_Wednesday, 4 P.M._

_Client (to office-boy)._ "CAN I SEE MR. BROWN?"

_Office-Boy._ "AWAY FOR THE WEEK-END, SIR."

_Client_. "WHICH?" _Office-Boy._ "NEXT, SIR."]

* * * * *

"A Christmas Tree Entertainment will be held in Pelican