situated on the forward slope of a hill the support trench drains into
the firing-trench; if they are on the reverse slope, the firing-trench
drains into the support trench. Our indefatigable friends Box and Cox,
of the Royal Engineers, assisted by sturdy Pioneer Battalions, labour
like heroes; but the utmost they can achieve, in a low-lying country
like this, is to divert as much water as possible into some other
Brigade's area. Which they do, right cunningly.

In addition to the Boche, we wage continuous warfare with the
elements, and the various departments of Olympus render us
characteristic assistance. The Round Game Department has issued a set
of rules for the correct method of massaging and greasing the feet.
(Major Wagstaff e refers to this as, "Sole-slapping; or What to do in
the Children's Hour; complete in Twelve Fortnightly Parts.") The Fairy
Godmother Department presents us with what the Quartermaster describes
as "Boots, gum, thigh"; and there has also been an issue of so-called
fur jackets, in which the Practical Joke Department has plainly taken
a hand. Most of these garments appear to have been contributed by
animals unknown to zoology, or more probably by a syndicate thereof.
Corporal Mucklewame's costume gives him the appearance of a St.
Bernard dog with Astrakhan fore legs. Sergeant Carfrae is attired
in what looks like the skin of Nana, the dog-nurse in "Peter Pan."
Private Nigg, an undersized youth of bashful disposition, creeps
forlornly about his duties disguised as an imitation leopard. As he
passes by, facetious persons pull what is left of his tail. Private
Tosh, on being confronted with his winter _trousseau_, observed
bitterly--

"I jined the Airmy for tae be a sojer; but I doot they must have pit
me doon as a mountain goat!"