have been reduced by eight--_c'est tout_! It may be some one else's
turn to-morrow, but after all, that is what we are here for. Anyhow,
we are keeping the Boches out of "Wipers," and a bit over. So we
stretch our legs in the wood, and keep the flooded trench for the next
emergency.

Let us approach a group of four which is squatting sociably round a
small and inadequate fire of twigs, upon which four mess-tins are
simmering. The quartette consists of Privates Cosh and Tosh, together
with Privates Buncle and Nigg, preparing their midday meal.

"Tak' off your damp chup, Jimmy," suggested Tosh to Buncle, who was
officiating as stoker. "Ye mind what the Captain said aboot smoke?"

"It wasna the Captain: it was the Officer," rejoined Buncle
cantankerously.

(It may here be explained, at the risk of another digression, that no
length of association or degree of intimacy will render the average
British soldier familiar with the names of his officers. The Colonel
is "The C.O."; the Second in Command is "The Major"; your Company
Commander is "The Captain," and your Platoon Commander "The Officer."
As for all others of commissioned rank in the regiment, some
twenty-four in all, they are as nought. With the exception of the
Quartermaster, in whose shoes each member of the rank and file hopes
one day to stand, they simply do not exist.)

"Onyway," pursued the careful Tosh, "he said that if any smoke was
shown, all fires was tae be pitten oot. So mind and see no' to get a
cauld dinner for us all, Jimmy!"