all.

The only approach to a breakdown comes when, after paying her little
bill--you may be sure that not an omelette nor a broken window will
be missing from the account--and wishing her "Bonne chance!" ere
you depart, you venture on a reference, in a few awkward, stumbling
sentences, to the absent husband and son. Then she weeps, copiously,
and it seems to do her a world of good. All hail to you, Madame--the
finest exponent, in all this War, of the art of Carrying On! We know
now why France is such a great country.




VI

YE MERRIE BUZZERS


I

Practically all the business of an Army in the field is transacted by
telephone. If the telephone breaks down, whether by the Act of God
or of the King's Enemies, that business is at a standstill until the
telephone is put right again.

The importance of the disaster varies with the nature of the business.
For instance, if the wire leading to the Round Game Department is
blown down by a March gale, and your weekly return of Men Recommended
for False Teeth is delayed in transit, nobody minds very much--except