unanimously elected a Vestryman of the important Parish of Saint
Michael-Shear-the-Hog, which I need hardly say is situate in the
ancient and renowned City of London. I owe my election I believe, to
the undoubted fact that I am what is called--I scarcely know why--a
tooth-and-nail Conservative, no one of anything approaching to
Radicalism being ever allowed to enter within the sacred precincts
of our very select Body. Our number is small, but, I am informed, we
represent the very pick of the Parish, and we have confided to us
the somewhat desperate task of defending the funds entrusted to us,
centuries ago, from the fierce attack of Commissioners with almost
unlimited powers, but with little or no sympathy with the sacred
wishes of deceased Parishioners.

Our contention is that wherever, from circumstances that our pious
ancestors could not have foreseen, it has become simply impossible to
carry out literally their instructions, the funds should be applied
to strictly analogous purposes. For instance, now in a neighbouring
Parish, I am not quite sure whether it is St. Margaret Moses, or
St. Peter the Queer, a considerable sum was bequeathed by a pious
parishioner in the reign of Queen MARY, of blessed memory, the income
from which was to be applied to the purchasing of faggots for the
burning of heretics, which it was probably considered would be a
considerable saving to the funds of the Parish in question. At the
present time, as we all know, although there are doubtless plenty of
heretics, it has ceased to be the custom to burn them, so the bequest
cannot be applied in accordance with the wishes of the pious founder.
The important question therefore arises, how should the bequest be
applied? Would it be believed that men are to be found, and men having
authority, more's the pity, who can recommend its application to the
education of the poor, to the providing of convalescent hospitals, or