_Saturday_.--Tinned Oyster Season commences. Fancy Dress Ball at
Bedlam. Close time for Hyænas in Belgrave Square.

* * * * *

The Austrian Inventor, who has just designed his ship of a mile in
length that is to travel through the water at eighty-seven miles an
hour, and cross the Atlantic in something under a day and a half, is,
I am told, only waiting the requisite capital to enable him at once
to set about carrying his project into effect. Each vessel will be
provided with an Opera House a Cathedral, including a Bishop, who
will be one of the ship's salaried officers; a Circus, Cricket-ground,
Cemetery, Race-course, Gambling-saloon, and a couple of lines of
Electric Tram-cars. The total charge for board and transit will
be only 10s. 6d. a day, which will bring the fare to New York
to something like 16s. As it is calculated that at least 100,000
passengers will cross the Atlantic on each journey, the financial
aspect of the whole concern seems sound. As I said before, the only
difficulty is the capital. Surely some enterprising Croesus who has
thirty millions lying idle in the Two-and-a-half per Cents, might look
at the matter.

* * * * *

"A SPORTING TIPSTER" writes:--"Perhaps you are not aware that _the_
feature of next Season's Foot-ball will be the arrival of a strong
team of the Kajawee Cannibal Islanders, a ferocious race, who have
been instructed in the game by a celebrated Midland half-back. As in
practice they invariably, instead of a foot-ball, use a fresh human
head, and in a scrimmage leave half their number dead on the field, by