right up into the air bilin' hot, so they had a perfect fiery geyser
there in their kitchen. Jabez run for his life, it had hit him in the
face.

They wuz Methodist folks with lots of children well brung up and they
never thought of havin' such doin's in their house, but the bilin'
crater pourin' down hot water come so sudden and onexpected onto 'em
that three of the little children wuz scalded most to-death as they sot
on the floor readin' Bunyan's "Pilgrim's Progress." And Luman,
bald-headed, too, the fiery flood descended onto him while he wuz tryin'
to bear his wife, who fell into hystericks, into the settin' room, he
wuz hit on top by the bilin' torrent and blistered right on his bare
head as big as your hand.

He laid his wife down half faintin', told the screamin' children to look
out for her and keep out of the kitchen, hollered for the hired man to
go after a doctor, and fell back into a kind of spazzum. He bein' a good
man who wouldn't swear, or rare round kep in his feelin's more. The
children got over it before he did, bad as they wuz scalded, they
screamed and yelled and let off considerable steam that way. But he wuz
bed sick for weeks holdin' onto his wrath and bein' too good to jaw and
kick Jabez, the doctor said made it worse than if he had kicked some.

But to resoom backwards. The hired girl wuz the coolest of any of 'em,
she went into the kitchen with a waterproof and umbrella, and tried to
turn the nozzle of the Perpetual Gushing Hot Water Tank out-doors, and
havin' to use both hands, and bein' smart and quick witted, she put the
coal scuttle on bottom side up, and though blinded by it and some
scalded, she made out to turn the fury of it out through the kitchen
winder where it steamed and squirted and poured out bilin' water onto