she may live to marry a Competitive Dairyman, and have good store of
champion cups and first prizes stuck about her best parlour._

* * * * *

A LICENCE FOR LORDS.

[At the Blackheath Petty Sessions, Mr. LAWLESS, stated that
the Trafalgar Hotel, belonged to the Lords of the Admiralty,
and asked the Bench to transfer the licence to the resident
caretaker.

Captain ROBERTSON-SHERSBY, J.P.: Why not transfer it to the
First Lord of the Admiralty? Are there no whitebait dinners
held there?

Mr. LAWLESS said that he was afraid that the days of whitebait
dinners were over.

The Bench, finding the Admiralty held the hotel for charitable
purposes, granted the application.]

Come, landsmen, give ear to my ditty,
I'll make it as short as I can.
There was once--was it London?--a city
Which stretched from Beersheba to Dan.
Of course that is gammon and spinach,
Or, to put it correctly, a joke.
It extended from Richmond to Greenwich,
This city of darkness and smoke.