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Journal of a Residence on a Georgian Plantation - 1838-1839 by Frances Anne Kemble
page 44 of 324 (13%)
physical and moral courage. To-day, in the midst of his torrent of
enquiries about places and things, I suddenly asked him if he would like
to be free. A gleam of light absolutely shot over his whole countenance,
like the vivid and instantaneous lightning--he stammered, hesitated,
became excessively confused, and at length replied--'Free, missis? what
for me wish to be free? Oh! no, missis, me no wish to be free, if massa
only let we keep pig.' The fear of offending, by uttering that forbidden
wish--the dread of admitting, by its expression, the slightest discontent
with his present situation--the desire to conciliate my favour, even at
the expense of strangling the intense natural longing that absolutely
glowed in his every feature--it was a sad spectacle, and I repented my
question. As for the pitiful request which he reiterated several times
adding, 'No, missis, me no want to be free--me work till me die for missis
and massa,' with increased emphasis; it amounted only to this, that the
negroes once were, but no longer are, permitted to keep pigs. The increase
of filth and foul smells, consequent upon their being raised, is, of
course, very great; and, moreover, Mr. ---- told me, when I preferred poor
Jack's request to him, that their allowance was no more than would suffice
their own necessity, and that they had not the means of feeding the
animals. With a little good management they might very easily obtain them,
however; their little 'kail-yard' alone would suffice to it, and the pork
and bacon would prove a most welcome addition to their farinaceous diet.
You perceive at once (or if you could have seen the boy's face, you would
have perceived at once), that his situation was no mystery to him, that
his value to Mr. ----, and, as he supposed, to me, was perfectly well
known to him, and that he comprehended immediately that his expressing
even the desire to be free, might be construed by me into an offence, and
sought by eager protestations of his delighted acquiescence in slavery, to
conceal his soul's natural yearning, lest I should resent it. 'T was a sad
passage between us, and sent me home full of the most painful thoughts. I
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