_Mr. Punch_ flatters himself that, upon the above model, the report of
any race-meeting could be accurately constructed at home. In future,
therefore, no reporter should go to the expense of leaving London for
Epsom, Newmarket, Ascot, or Goodwood.

[Footnote 1: Note this sentence. It is essential.]

[Footnote 2: At first sight it would appear more natural that SIMPSON
(presumably a jockey) having called upon _Mrs. Brady_, should take tea
with _her_ rather than with her rivals. But a sporting style involves
us in puzzles.]

* * * * *

A CENTENARIAN.

"This is the centenary of the tall hat."--_Daily News_.

[Illustration]

A hundred years of hideousness,
Constricted brows, and strain, and stress!
And still, despite humanity's groan,
The torturing, "tall-hat" holds its own!
What proof more sure and melancholy
Of the dire depths of mortal folly?
Mad was the hatter who invented
The demon "topper," and demented
The race that, spite of pain and jeers,