Tentative heroes may suit modern urgency,
LUBBOCK may win where a Hercules fails.
If we now hunt, upon public emergency,
Stymphalian Birds, 'tis with salt for their tails!

* * * * *

"YE GODS, WHAT A TERRIBLE TWIST!"

Statistics are sweet things, and full of startling surprises. Like the
Frenchman in "_Killaloe_" "you never know what they'll be up to next."
Here, for instance, is a "statement showing the decrease in price in
the United States of many articles within the past ten years _largely
consumed_ by the agricultural community." And among these "many
articles" "largely consumed," are "mowing machines, barb fence-wire,
horseshoes, forks, wire-cloth, slop-buckets, wheelbarrows, and
putty." No wonder dyspepsia is the national disease in America. Fancy
"consuming" French staples, pie-plates (though _they_ sound almost
edible), and putty!!! The ostrich is supposed to be capable of
digesting such dainties as broken bottles, and tenpenny nails, but
that voracious fowl is evidently not "in it" with the "Agricultural
community" of America.

* * * * *

ODD.--A Correspondent says he found this advertisement in the
_Guardian_:--

RECTOR of S. Michael's, Lichfield, requires help of a
LAY-READER. Visiting, S.-school, cottage services, ass. in