Alas! I feel flat and forlorn,
I have bidden Girl-Gushing farewell!

Since I put down my name in that book
I have never called bonnets "divine,"
For our Sec. with a soul-shaking look,
Would be down on your friend with a fine.
So the milliners now I pass by;
Though dearly they pleased me of yore;
If a girl musn't gush, squirm, and sigh,
Even shopping becomes quite a bore.

For "gorgeous" I languish in vain,
And I pine for a "love"--and a "dear."
Oh! why did I vow to be plain--
In my speech? It sounds awfully queer!
Stop! "Awfully" is not allowed.
Though it _will_ slip out sometimes, I own.
Oh, I might as well sit in my shroud,
As use moderate language alone.

To force us fair nymphs to forego
The hyperbole dear to our heart,
And the slang without which speech is "slow,"
Is to make us a "people apart."
Oh, to say (without fines) "quite too-too!"
For dear "awfully jolly" I yearn.
I would "chuck" all my friends, sweet--save you--
To the pathways of Gush to return.