* * * * *

THE REAL GRIEVANCE OFFICE.

(_BEFORE MR. COMMISSIONER PUNCH._)

_AN OFFICER OF VOLUNTEERS INTRODUCED._

_The Commissioner_. Well, what can I do for you, Captain?

_Officer of Volunteers_. Hush, Sir! If you were heard to give me my
military rank, you would be the cause of covering me with ridicule!

_The Com._ Ridicule! Are you _not_ a Captain?

_Off._ Certainly, Sir. I hold Her Majesty's Commission, and am
supposed to be one of the defenders of the country.

_The Com._ Then why should you not be credited with the rank to which
you are entitled?

_Off._ Because, Sir, I am only a Captain of Volunteers.

_The Com._ But surely the British Army is composed entirely of
Volunteers?

_Off._ That is the national boast, Sir. But then, you see, I receive
no pay.

_The Com._ Which does not prevent you from working?