_A.S. (scornfully_). Oh, _him_! I saw sech a party 'anging about
suspiciously awhile ago, and _spoke to the perliceman about him_. But
I don't know him, and he don't live _here! [Shuts door sharply_.

_I.P. (perspiring profusely, as the state of things dawns upon him!
_) Phew! I see it all. "A plant." _That's_ why he met me on the
door-step. Of course he doesn't live here at all. Gave a respectable
address, and _watched for me outside!_ And the sleek-spoken shark is
gone! So are my two guineas!

[_Retires a sadder, and a wiser man_.

* * * * *

THE MAN OF SCIENCE.

[It has been suggested, with reference to an amusing article
in _Blackwood,_ on a new religion, that science is equal to
it.]

PROFESSOR PROTOPLASM _sings_:--

I'm a mighty man of science, and on that I place reliance,
And I hurl a stern defiance at what other people say:
Learning's torch I fiercely kindle, with my HAECKEL, HUXLEY, TYNDALL,
And all preaching is a swindle, that's the motto of to-day.
I'd give the wildest latitude to each agnostic attitude,
And everything's a platitude that springs not from my mind:
I've studied entomology, astronomy, conchology,